Paul called and said the Taurus is dead again and then the kitchen sink is broke and he has to call off because he doesn't have a ride so I think let’s borrow my dad’s car since he can borrow my grandma’s van at will so my dad drives me out to the farm and the dog is snoring and my grandma is watching basketball and so we start talking about the farm and the house and I bought that chair for 5 dollars and we have a lot of vets in our family and our German ancestors are from Alsace-Lorrain and I was born in that room right there and how she took care of her grandmother when she had had a stroke with two kids under 2 years old, only 20 something, and here I am complaining about sinks and cars and jobs when my grandma has been doing all of this hard stuff all of her life and six kids and 60 years later, she still smiles and talks about the barn dance that she met my grandpa at
and so we take the dog out to the pond to feed the bluegill and I say, I feel like a big baby and dad says you’re missing the fish, because they come right up to you when you walk by, they can feel your footprints he says and so the fish start eating and the dog is barking and my dad and I are just sitting on the dock and I’m breathing in real good because farm air is so much better than anything we have around here, and I haven’t eaten dinner but I’m not jealous of the fish surprisingly
and we go to leave and the van doesn’t start and my grandma says sorry which sounds so terrible coming from her, I feel so bad that she is sorry, she shouldn't have to feel sorry, but we leave without an extra car and I feel defeated and deflated and life is terrible and I don’t care if I’m a baby: this sucks and dad looks at me and points to the car window and outside our window, a car is on fire, no harm to anyone, but I missed it, I only catch a glance, and he says, you’re missing everything, the fish, the car ride and it’s just a sink and it’s just a car and it's just a job and you’re missing all the good
and I cry and feel like a baby again and I come home to Paul watching History Channel in the dark and I say, let’s go to taco bell and we eat and I tell him I missed a burning car, how, and the fish were hungry and my grandma was born in the kitchen! and we watch Bull Durham and he makes shadow puppets to make me giggle and it works and I fall asleep wearing my glasses, like when he used to work in the daytime, and he puts me to bed and I sleep, really really deep, for the first time in two weeks and it’s fine because it’s only a job and it's only a sink and it's only a car and at least I know now that my grandma met my grandpa at a barn dance…..