I'm back to having a career AND being a wife. Steinem would be so proud.

Yes, I'm back to work. It's been trickling in since the beginning of August, thankfully. I'm not cut out for long teacher summers. Maybe I'll be able to distract myself enough to enjoy it when I have a garden, dog or child, but alone in a duplex for 2 months and 1 week (exactly, I counted) was a bit insane. A lot insane. And no matter how much I tried, how many hobbies I tried to create (going to the mall 3 times a week is illogical on a teacher's salary) or how seriously I tried to take this blog or my summer "dreams," it was annoying to be without real structure.

I don't have a smart little bow to tie on to an entry about my summer. It was a stupid wave of emotions throughout and, honestly, I'm not sure if I've really figured it all out yet. There were so many highs, lows and mucky-swampy-weird moments that I'm just glad it's over. I'm excited about my job, my co-workers, a brand new addition to our building, all of it. I know the newness will wear off and I'll start thinking about why I didn't go into library science come mid-October, but for right now, it's good to be Ms. Ronau again.

And out of hilarity, a re-cap of what the heck I was supposed to be doing this summer:

Exactly 2 months and 1 day ago,
Summer Dreams
+ Learn how to tune a piano.

(yeah right.)

+ Make a working bubble rocket.

(failed)
+ Eat the bacon chocolate at Fresh Market and reflect.

(nope.)
+ Learn to accentuate the right syllables in 4 new difficult words (such as su-PER-floo-us).

(25%: new word: scofflaw.)
+ By August 9th (my last summer Tuesday), finish a Tuesday NY Times crossword in 45 minutes with 0-2 cheats. (Failed on two mondays in a row. Fail.)
+ Learn half of the dance in the new Chris Brown video, including the modified Cat Daddy.

(Attempted, but looked extra Caucasian.)
+ Learn the sign for "giraffe."

(SUCCESS! Make a C with your right hand, turn 90 degrees and slowly move vertically from your chest to your chin.)
+ Enter a sweepstakes.

(Did not enter a sweepstakes. Watched "I Won the Lottery" on TLC.)
+ Find a yoga instructor AND someone that will guilt trip me into going to found yoga instructor.

(Sorta? New 1st grade teacher is a yoga instructor? Guess I really didn't "find" her though...)
+ Use a shoe horn.

(Did not have the opportunity.)
+ Watch a movie/read a book about Atlantis and/or dinosaurs.

(Not even close.)
+ Maybe think about being a flamingo for Halloween. Iron out probable logistics.

(I thought about it...I think I'd rather attempt to be Patti Mayonnaise!)
+ Avoid pregnancy.

(YES!)
+ Acquire a new toast, animal-pun joke, or an anecdote that attempts to use both.

(No. how disappointing.)
+ Learn how to use bleach.

(I've thought about it and have picked up a few tips but this has not reached actual fruition.)
+ Attempt to enjoy playing the kazoo.

(Kazoo is still a stupid instrument. Picked up the nose flute instead!)
+ Water plants, avoid being responsible for their death and research how to do that.

(I didn't water them while Paul was gone for 4 days....they somehow survived...)

What I did realize after a long summer of nothing but this blog was that I need more than just an 'atta boy' for writing interesting things. I crave instant feedback and it's nice to hear that I'm a good writer after changing careers, but I can't live on that. I know that being an inner city special education teacher is one of the most stressful jobs in the world, but I can do it because of what I get back: the silly sign language animal signs, the insane things they say out loud, the sadly excited look on their face when you give them a snack, the breakdowns that become break-throughs. Honestly, sometimes that's not even enough to make your day less painful, but adding it all up becomes better than being a blogging housewife, to me.

Ironic and funny: so many adults "envied" my time off, but I think the thought of it is so much better than the reality. You think it's just gonna be like when you were in college, but without anyone to hang out with, it's just kind of pathetic. There were no late night trips to B-Dubs on Thursdays or dramatic life-changing chats at Waffle House at 4 a.m.: just a really empty feeling when running out of things to dust around 3 p.m. with nothing interesting on TV to distract until Paul came home at 6. Woof.

My head's somewhere else now. I'm not sure if I can do both: writing clever things about my weird life and focus on my special ones. Here's to trying......and if it gets hard, I'll just leave it up to my worry dolls to fix (I have six of 'em meaning I can't have more than 6 worries at a time...good idea.)

And now......

Back to School To Do List Having Nothing To Do with Professional Goals As Those Are on a Separate Sticky Note in My Head

Fall Wishes

+ Smell like a bonfire at least once

+ Enjoy a half-time marching band show

+ Pick a punkin

+ Be married for a year :) (&hearts!)

+ Avoid actual college football games while enjoying Lee Corso

+ Crunch leaves

+ Hike

+ Hug a football mascot

+ Drink spiced apple cider

+ Fish before it freezes

+ Make an inspiring Halloween costume

+ Pass out Halloween candy

+ Remember to enjoy it all

nerves of noodles